Evan's kind tonight despite all of his bitching and for that Taylor is grateful. Normally when he pushes or speaks out or trips over some kind of verbal insubordination he's strung out on sensation for hours before they get to this point. Maybe it was the nightmare. Maybe they're closer to actually putting words to what they are. Maybe it was how he was clinging and as desperate as he's ever been for some confirmation that this is real. It's not Detla in his ear, it's not the suit holding his skin in place while it patches him up, it's not his tools in his hand or the HUD covering his blind spot.
It's not the private war they'd been thrust into by a madman or breaking into storefronts for petty cash and food after- not screwing around on military bases beforehand. Whatever this is- it's after. It's direction. Stability. Purpose. Order.
Orders had only ever led him into pain up until they got him killed. Evan's orders always ended well. Evan never expected the impossible from him, never condemned him for not making it on the first go, never made him feel less of a man for not being good enough. He never made Taylor feel anything but worthwhile. Be it direction in bed or in the field he can and will always trust this man to guide him safely. Through the cracks of his own mind and the madness of this place, the firm hand on his hip and on his jaw helps him find his way home day after day and that's something he can't ever thank him enough for. Doesn't have the words for it, doesn't have the frame of reference for it- so he just. Acts out. Clings.
Sobs and pants into Evan's palm as he grinds up as much as he can and he knows- Evan knows and gets it he's always gotten it, they've always been on the same wavelength and he needs more than this right now. The first audible thing from him since Evan swallowed him whole and it's low and broken.
"Please." Please more. Please come up. A tense hand slides through Evan's hair and tugs him up, legs spread wide because he needs- more. Needs to be held down and claimed in the way only Evan can offer him. Needs to be told how to move and how to breathe and what to think right now just so the world will make a little more sense. "Please- sir."
Their strange little shorthand that'll tell Evan what he needs without him having to try too hard.
Evan's always doing things to make life easy on him.
no subject
It's not the private war they'd been thrust into by a madman or breaking into storefronts for petty cash and food after- not screwing around on military bases beforehand. Whatever this is- it's after. It's direction. Stability. Purpose. Order.
Orders had only ever led him into pain up until they got him killed. Evan's orders always ended well. Evan never expected the impossible from him, never condemned him for not making it on the first go, never made him feel less of a man for not being good enough. He never made Taylor feel anything but worthwhile. Be it direction in bed or in the field he can and will always trust this man to guide him safely. Through the cracks of his own mind and the madness of this place, the firm hand on his hip and on his jaw helps him find his way home day after day and that's something he can't ever thank him enough for. Doesn't have the words for it, doesn't have the frame of reference for it- so he just. Acts out. Clings.
Sobs and pants into Evan's palm as he grinds up as much as he can and he knows- Evan knows and gets it he's always gotten it, they've always been on the same wavelength and he needs more than this right now. The first audible thing from him since Evan swallowed him whole and it's low and broken.
"Please." Please more. Please come up. A tense hand slides through Evan's hair and tugs him up, legs spread wide because he needs- more. Needs to be held down and claimed in the way only Evan can offer him. Needs to be told how to move and how to breathe and what to think right now just so the world will make a little more sense. "Please- sir."
Their strange little shorthand that'll tell Evan what he needs without him having to try too hard.
Evan's always doing things to make life easy on him.